Real questions asked by layers during a trial

Yesterday, a friend of mine mailed me a list of mistakes and silly questions made by lawers during a trial to witnesses. I found it very funny so I'll put them on my blog.

1.- “Doctor, it isn't true that if a person dies while he is sleeping, he doesn't realize until the next morning?”

2.- "The youngest boy, the one that has twenty years old, how old is him?”

3.- "Where you present when they take you a photo?"

4.- "You were alone or you were the only person?”

5.- It was you or your brother who died at war?”

6.- "He, he killed you?”

7.- "What was the distance between the two cars at the moment of the collision?”

8.- “Were you present until you went out?”

9.- "¿How many times have you committed suicide?"

10.- Q: "So the date of the birth of your son was the 8 of August of 1984?"
A: "Yes"
Q: "”And, what were you doing at that moment?”

11.- Q: "She had three sons, did she?"
A: "Yes"
Q: "How many were male?"
A: "None"
Q: "There were any female?"

12.- Q: "You said that the stairs went down to the cellar, didn't you?"
A: "Yes"
Q: "And those stairs, went also up?"

13.- "Q: Mr.Slatery, where did you go for your honeymoon?"
A: "I went to Europe."
Q: "Did you go with your wife?"

14.- Q: "How did your first marriage ended?”
A: "By death"
Q: "For the death of who?”

15.- Q: "Could you describe the subject?"
A: "He was middle sized and had a beard"
Q: "He was a male or a female?"

16.- Q: "Doctor, how many of your autopsies were done to dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies were done to dead people."

17.- Q: "All your answers must be verbal, ¿OK? ? At what school did you go.?"
A: "Verbal"

18.- Q: " Do you remember at what hour did you examinate the corpse?"
A: "The autopsy started by the 8:30 p.m."
Q: "Mr. Dennington was dead in that moment?"
A: "No,he was sitting on the table asking me why I was doing him an autopsy."

19.- Q: "Are you capable of providing an orine sample?"
A: "I've been capable since my most tender childhood."

20.- Q: "Doctor, before doing the autopsy,did you take his pulse?”
A: “No” Q: "Did you check the blood pressure?"
A: "No"
Q: "Did you verify if he was breathing?"
A: "No"
Q: "Then, it couldn't be possible that the patient was alive when you started the autopsy?”
A: "No"
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was on my table, inside a jar."
Q: "But, the patient couldn't be alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could be alive and working as a lawer somewhere.”

The fisherman and the businessman

This is a little story that I heard long ago, when I was a child, and I liked it. I hope you can enjoy it.

Once ago there was a fisherman who was sitting on a chair next to the harbor and reading a book. A rich businessman, who was at the harbor that he had recently brought, saw the fisherman, and said to him:

“You should work more.”

“Why? I have enough money to live working the hours I already work.”

“Because if you work more, you would have more money, and after working for a few years, you could have a fleet that could fish for you and then you would be as rich as me”

“And what would I do, then?”

“You could sit, and enjoy life”

“And what am I doing now?”

The workhouses

During the 19^th century, there was a lot of poverty and unemployment in Britain as a result of the Industrial revolution. To try to stabilize the situation, the House of Common, approved the creation of workhouses in the early 30s. A workhouse is a place where the poor can eat and sleep as long as they worked there. I don't know the translation to Spanish but I think it's something like “taller” or something like that. It's idea was to stop the beggars and they cut any help except the one that was given at the workhouse. The idea was to stop anyone who wasn't really poor and didn't have any other option to go there or receive any help from the government forcing the poors to search, as the conditions there were really bad into there. Charles Dickens wrote a lot about the workhouses and theirs conditions.

But those conditions made reactions against them, specially when the press began to publish stores about the terrible incidents that happened inside. That made that by the 60s the only people who were inside were children who couldn't work, senile elders who couldn't take care of themselves and sicks. Any other person wouldn't go there for more than a few days.

But despite all of this, the workhouses made a great work as hospitals, providing free treatment to any who was sick, schools, as they teached arithmetic, writing and reading and as a asylum for the elderly.

The story of the two jars

The other day I read a story in Dracos' blog that made me remember another. The story is worth to be read, (the tittle is “The Real Value of the Ring”).

Long time ago, in a forgotten part of the india, there was a man who lived in the mountains, too far from a river, and the only manner he had to have water was to go to the nearest well, which was about two miles from his house, with two huge jars, and return with the two heavy jars to his home. He had to get up very early to do that, and he returned to home really exhausted.. One jar was perfect, and it hadn't any holes, but the other had lots of holes and only the half of the water that the man put at the jar arrived home, losing a lot of water during the way.

The jar, which was depressed for it's imperfection that made the man to only have the half of the water he deserved for his effort, speaked with the man. “ I'm sorry that you only have the half water you put on me, I hope you can get another jar so you can throw me to the rubish for my imperfection”. The man, who was very wise, replied: “You shouldn't feel sorry for your holes and I'll show you way, tomorrow, when I'll go for water, look down the way and you'll see the reason”.

The jar did what the man said and it saw that the part of the path were he went was full of flowers and grass, while the other part was dry and dead. He wondered why it was like this and asked the wise man.

The wise man replied: “The watter you drop is not wasted, when I realised that you have a hole, I had an idea. I put seeds so your imperfection made all this life. If you hadn't a single hole, this flowers couldn't life and the part of the path would be as dead as the other”.

You don't need to be perfect. Sometimes is better to have some holes rather than not having any.